Nothing good ever happens to me!!

Every morning I get up, I go to this crazy 'spinning' class and come home half dead. I will eat and turn on the tv. I have found that because I'm now starting our US tour, I need to get in shape, and am actually eating the right foods and have turned away most of the chocolates and sugars. This is not normal, since I keep saying to myself I have to get into shape, but now I'm not doing this consciously, but sub-consciously. It's effortless, even though the spinning isn't and most times I wish I could put a bullet in my head as the teacher yells out my name in front of the class to get my 'ass out of the seat and peddle faster'.

ALL of you have experienced what I'm talking about in one way or another. For instance, women who are getting married, lose the weight to fit in the dress, but just to lose the weight because you think you should, rarely ever happens successfully. If you need to learn something to keep your job or get a better one, you learn it, but to learn it because you will be smarter in general, rarely happens. The reason? INTENTION.

We don't accomplish what we want in life due to the lack of intention. Your sub-conscious (matures to the age of 12) and your conscious struggle with each other all the time. So think of the front tires on your car going forward, and your rear tires going backwards and you can't get to spinning class on time..or ever! Where things get frustrating is 'I don't understand why I'm not getting to spinning class on time'..because I can't see my rear tires and therefore don't know they are going backwards!!

Unless you have the money to hire a hypnotherapist or motivational coach, you need to figure this out on your own and correct it. How?

Well, the tip to knowing when this is happening is simple..WHEN YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT!!!

The problem isn't curses, bad luck, God having it in for you or the world not liking you, it's about not being sure of what you want and therefore running in circles. Last week I had two actresses come to see me for sessions. One from LA and one from Vancouver, both upset that they weren't getting to where they want and scared their time will run out by becoming too old. In both cases, their problem wasn't their talent, their looks or their opportunities (which they seemed blind to) but it was their intention. They didn't think they deserved to be successful and famous. Their sub-conscious was doing everything it could to destroy opportunities and find the negatives.

Will adversity still occur if we have our intention in order? Yes! We love that..we NEED that..our adversity is what really defines who we are! Those that coast through life because they are born into wealth and never have to struggle, or those that win the lottery and never have to work, are the worst off! They don't know what defines them or what their full potential is. When you go through adversity, it's not about what is happening, it's about how you look at it.

For instance, one of the actresses I was referring to just got cast as the lead of a major movie. In the same 10 mins that she got cast, she got a rejection letter from the US for working papers. She called me all upset and said that she feels bummed that she can't go to the US to find work.

Come on!! She got the lead of a multi-million dollar movie and therefore doesn't NEED to find work, and she is upset that she can't struggle in LA with other unemployed actors??! She is missing the positive because her sub-conscious is freaking out! What she wished for is now starting to happen, and poor little sub-conscious is scared to death! So it focuses on the negatives and all that is wrong, when really everything is perfect in her world!

If you feel you have been doing circles long enough, it's time to get your intentions in order, remove the negative outlook and focus on what you are learning from the situation. Don't repress it or deny it, embrace it and learn from it!

The next Making it in High Heels: For Future Leaders and Role Models are written by 40 women who have gone against the odds to reach their goals. You will be able to read it from them about real struggles. So if you think you are the only one not making it, think again! You do your best, learn and move forward. You will be fine, don't worry!