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I recently had dinner with someone. She was telling me about her history with men and how all except one has been abusive in some way or another. I just listened. She is really nice and has been strong for her daughter and therefore I felt like she should be with someone special. I was careful to say 'deserved' to be with someone. When we finished dinner, she told me that when all was said and done, she had no regrets. I smiled at that.

When she saw my smile, she asked me what I was thinking. Knowing that most ask but really don't want to know, I hesitated. But with her insistence, I told her my thoughts about 'no regrets' and by just saying that do we really understand the implications?

Personally I think that 'no regret' is a terrible thing to say. When did the word regret take on a negative connotation? We are suppose to regret things! I don't know of a successful person that doesn't have any regrets. In fact, based on the people I've treated, the ones who state they have no regrets are the ones who are in bad predicaments and use it as a great cop out to avoid taking responsibilities for their actions.

When you are in a bad situation after another, yes, each one is making you stronger, but the reason you keep going through it is to finally LEARN from it. Not repeat it! To regret means you wish NOT to repeat the same experience. Warren Buffet said a big regret in his life was not putting money into Disney. He saw Mary Poppins and 'didn't get it'. So he passed on the investment which today is worth $2 Billion. He has expressed that regret, learned from it and now is much less conservative in his thinking when he looks at long term visions!

As silly as it is, to not regret would be equal to shooting yourself in the foot over and over again. After the first time, causing internal damage from broken bones to lead poisoning, wouldn't you regret it? Those who say no, would also be the ones to try it again out of ego alone. This will keep repeating itself until you finally say to yourself "I don't think I want to shoot myself anymore'.

Now, to regret and not learn from it, is just as dangerous because the whole point would be to turn the situation into a positive and understand how to not let it happen again. So regret, evaluate and learn!